Say What Moment of the Week: Snoop Dogg may have just had his "One Life to Live"

Snoop Dogg just dropped a new album that was at the top of the charts, he has a reality show, millions of fans, a catalog of records everyone knows so what does he do next: win an oscar? sell japanese products? have a sex tape? (dear god I hope not) no our favorite D.O. double G decided to guest star on "One Life to Live" and even re-record the opening theme for the episode which is basically Snoop just harmonizing: "All that i have is one life to live, all that I need is One Life to Live." As funny as it is what can we expect next: Dr. Dre is going to be doing the theme for "All My Children," Ice Cube who lost a little cred doing the Are We...add ridiculous situation movies going to do the theme to "General Hospital," we are going to here something like: Ain't nothing to it General Hospital made me do it, If I shoot Sonny Corinthos, ain't nothing to it, General Hospital made me do it, If I fuck up jax and sleep with Laura ain't nothing to it, General Hospital made me do it.

so for your listening pleasure... One life to Live... Say What! :

Desperately Seeking Zooey

Kathy who watches too much tv, my regular pop culutre know it all (she probably knows more than me about this pop culture thing) made me realize how amazing Zooey Deschanel is. The Indie queen who graced the cinema's in "Almost Famous," "Elf," "Manic," is a dark haired, doughy skinned, indie beauty. So you can say this is my love letter for Zooey Deschanel who will next be seen in "The Happening" from M. Night Shala-not even gonna attempt to spell it out. With the slew of strke outs M. Night has had it makes me wonder why the hell she would agree to the king "twist ending" film unless maybe the twist is that Zooey is the HAPPENING. No matter what I will be there to see it because of Zooey! So here I am desperately seeking Zooey.

Did Gangsta Rap make me do it? hell nah, I don't think so

"If I die in Iraq, ain't nothing to it gangsta rap made me do it."
what the fuck?

Recently listening to Ice Cube's "Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It" it made me ponder if gangsta rap did make me do it? do what exactly? take a shower? wear baggy clothes? make waffles? listen to gangsta rap? I didn't even know of gangsta rap until my dad started playing it for me while I was living a very plain, idyllic life in Houston, Texas. One of the first rap songs my dad played for me was "California Love" by Tupac Shakur, he use to play it on our family trips back to to Cali to visit the family as well as Notorious B.I.G.'s "Going back to Cali." So the question is what did gangsta rap make me do? ever since 1995 I began consuming everything I could from gangsta rap and rap in general. Pac, Biggie, NWA, Eazy- E, Jay-Z, LL Cool J(?), Will Smith (?), okay so rap in general. For as long as I could remember people made the argument that rap music was garbage, it is loud, it is not music, it perpetuates violence. Well if I could be the poster boy for "Gangsta Rap not making me do it" I would be. I love my gangsta rap as much as the next person. Gangsta rap is very carthartic: you get a bad grade in a class?listen to Ice Cube: Straight outta compton a crazy mothafucka named Ice cube and im rolling with n *expletive*expletive* with an attitude, I got a sawed off, watch out or bodies getting hauled off. If you are in a good mood listen to Ice Cube: Good day: "Just waking up in the morning gotta thank god, i don"t know but today seems kind of odd, no barking from the dog, no smog, and mama cook the breakfast with no hog." It is a song. If you find out your girl is cheating on you: " Bitch Im going to kill you, you don't want to fuck with me" by the great Eminem. The point is you don't take the music too seriously because it represents a consciousness that is felt all the time. So what did gangsta rap make me do? Escape the bullshit around me in the real world.

Star Wars starring the Presidential candidates

Imagine the Presidential race was the "Star Wars" who do you think each candidate would represent in the "Star Wars" universe.

Cue screen roll.

IN GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY...

America is in turmoil. After eight years of the Bush Republic, Young people around the United States begin voting for someone to take over as President of the United States. Darth John McCain uses his veteran expertise to try and win for the Republic while Hilary Clinton's conservative alliance tries to destroy the democratic party. The democratic party is in search of a hero to take on Darth McCain. Out from Illinois comes a New Hope, Barack Obama.

Starring:

Barack Obama... Luke Skywalker

John McCain...Darth Sidious

Hillary Clinton...Jabba the Hut?

and

Fred Thompson as....what the hell was I thinking I should have never left Law & Order!

The Joel Stein vs. Chuck "The Klost" Klosterman

So after Kathy made me realize just how cool Joel Stein columns are I began thinking of my favorite pop culture columnist: Chuck Klosterman who from here on out will be referred to as The Klost and The Joel Stein. Joel Stein his messy black hair, jewishness and then there is "The Klost" the small man with blonde hair who wrote one of the greatest pop culture books ever: "Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" or The Joel Stein whose many L.A. Times Columns causes a great deal of laughter. I know on which side Kathy lies but where would everyone else choose to be. Joel Stein has his own theme song but The Klost has written his own books and writes a syndicated sports column on ESPN. The Joel Stein though has been splashed all over every VH1 pop culture reality show from Best Week Ever to the I love 80s, 90s, 70s series. The Klost well he has books. The Joel Stein versus Chuck Klosterman debate who wins: well us because they make us laugh with every new word they write. Maybe round two I will throw Mo Rocca into the mix, his skinny, sardonic self would cause an explosion of intellectual cool.

The Family Guy Problem: Is there ever too much pop

My 9-year-old brother is addicted to "Family Guy." Our favorite fun loving family that contains so many pop culture references you could choke on it. Every episode is like one big nostalgic look back at a time when TV was bold, the 80's were dull but exciting at the same time. From 70's and 80s tv shows that had some oddball plots to classic film making and awesomely bad 80s rock Family Guy is like the Pop culturist guide to pop culture. But is the pop culture references to over exposed on the show? i remember watching an episode where the family was shopping at the grocery store and Chris goes into the freezer to get milk and ends up being pulled into the strangely wonderful "Take On Me" video by A-Ha yet it represents "Family Guy" perfectly for its zaniness and obscure pokes at pop culture. Yes the show does over state the pop culture references but it also pokes fun at the fact that the show itself is nostalgic. Episodes like "Back in the Woods" where a scorned James Wood trades identities with Peter and in order to keep Peter from trying to win back his family Woods threatens him with setting up his own random flash back. It is a classy move on Family Guy's part as it realizes that this is the show, take it or leave it. 

Who knows maybe years from now some young turk will make his own satirical pop culture show that will (now follow me carefully on this because you may get lost along the way...Be warned)... A show lets call it "Married with a Family of Three's Company Guy" now picture this show being the ultimate satirist of pop culture like pop culture up the ying yang that it would make Warhol proud. So basically the premise of the show "Married with a Family of  Three Company's Guy" is that it pop culturally satirizes "Family Guy" satirizing pop culture. Did you get that because I am not repeating it again..okay one more time. The show satirizes family guy satirizing pop culture.  It just be an endless cycle of jokes about talking animals, football shaped head babies, and maybe even Steve Guttenburg. A guy can hope...maybe I should get this show idea copyrighted! 

I Prefer my Robert Downey on Crack

Eagerly anticipating "Iron Man" I realize this is a new direction in character actor Robert Downey Jr. career. From here on out we can expect Iron Man XI which will be called "Tony Stark" (to follow Stallone's lead of using the character's actual name as a movie title). Upon discussion of Ironman, Kathy had brought up that she "prefers her Robert Downey on crack." That night I went home and to my surprise "Less Than Zero" the perennial Brett-Easton-Ellison druggie movie was on, starring everybody favorite new Marvel comic hero RDJ. Now given this was near the peak of his drug addled addiction I now appreciate the man even more; RDJ is a joker of method acting. "Less Than Zero" could have been better but the saving grace was RDJ's manic performance as Julian, who gets so deep into the drug world he has forced to sell himself to pay off a debt. It is a RDJ performance that is nearly unforgettable. Kathy was right I prefer my Robert Downey on crack. Hell that same manic performance is seen in "Johnny B. Good." and "Chances Are," he manages not to sell you on that he is Robert Downey as ... but that he is the character as portrayed by RDJ. Crack kills but man does Robert Downey Kill when he was on crack.

PS. If we could get Anthony Michael Hall, Andrew McCarthy, and The Downey Jr back together in a movie again that would be awsome. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it. Got it Downey.

C. Thomas "Ponyboy" Howell we hardly knew you

What Happened Karate Kid is a pop culture observation of everything pop culture. end sentence. By the way if you find Ralph Macchio, let me know.

Flipping through my channel guide I came across something interesting on VH1, called "Celebracadabra" or something like that, you know the basic let us see how low we can get bottom feeding celebrities to do some stupid shit in this case become a magician. Going through the cast list I was like, this isn't bad, Howell Sparks, Kid from Kid & Play. then came the bombshell: C. Thomas "Ponyboy" Howell was one of the contestants. The guy who had made such classics as "The Outsiders," "The Hitcher," and "Soul Man" was now a VH1 reality show contestant. What the Fuck is all I can say.